The Ramingo’s Porch – Four Poems By Yuan Changming


Man Is the Only Animal
                That Blushes. Or Needs To. – Mark Twain

Or that can remain on friendly terms, says Samuel
Butler, with the victims he intends to eat until he
Eats them; that shows interest in the sex lives of

Other animals; that is able to invent a story and
Spread it over time and space; that insists on its
Uniqueness, superiority and omniscience; that

Refrains from farting or fucking in the wild open; that
Tries to live not only in the moment, but also among
The pasts and futures; that is capable of making medicines

Machines and machinations; that can readily convert
Himself from one ism to another; that enjoys playing
Words along this line as Nelson in his ‘Funny Bird Sex.’


Woman, Who’s Such a Wonder

Among evergreens of an unknown
Hill, can come tight on top of me
Like a patch of heaven, sagging herself
Down for Penetration, Pop Pop Pop!

Let me grow harder and taller
Wrapping me with her dripping mists
Stroking me with her inner tongues
Then I roll over her

Bloated shape, ready to rise
Again, and again
And drift with me in a cloud
After planting my selfhood into earth

As deeply as a tree
An everlasting erection


Bucket List

1. last year: find a short cut leading all humans to happiness;
2. last month: invent something allowing men to piss without spilling;
3. last week: travel to a foreign unpopulated mountainous area;
4. last day: climb onto the highest spot in a forest;
5. last hour: settle down under a tall and straight tree like a dying elephant;
6. last minute: look as far as possible at the landscape like Sphinx;
7. last second: release my inner being so that it can fly up;
8. last mini second: join the proto consciousness of the cosmos; and
9. the rest of time: drift around every quantum entangled with my other selves


Haplogroup Hypothesis: My Son Is Mine

The relief I feel today is not my relief

Maybe it’s my late father’s
For a male descendant carrying exactly
The same haplogroup as his son; i.e., for
The biologic fact that he has a grandson
To fulfill his filial duty as did Confucius

The delight I feel today is actually everybody’s.
Everybody is delighted because we are
All offspring of the same DNA Adam
If only we know how to trace back in the big tree

Because as 23&Me’s reports show, we will survive
Even if we continue fighting each other until
The last one: then he will become the next DNA Adam

For the past two decades I’ve had a hidden fear
George may have been wrongly switched at birth
As in a movie or the media, since he neither looks
Nor acts like me at all, but his paternal haplogroup is
O-PK4, consistent With Allen’s or mine (O-F838)

The condolence I feel now is not my condolence
Rather, it’s everyone’s in that there’ll be no problem

For us to keep killing our own species, besides others


Yuan Changming published monographs on translation before leaving China. Currently, Yuan lives in Vancouver, where he edits Poetry Pacific with Allen Qing Yuan. Credits include ten Pushcart nominations, the 2018 Naji Naaman’s Literary Prize, Best of the Best Canadian Poetry and BestNewPoemsOnline among others.


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